Verse

The Ballad of Priti Patel

This is the ballad of #PritiPatel
The Minister at the Home Office
In a Government from Hell

Before politics, she did something worse
So awful, I’m reluctant to put it in verse
She sold cigarettes to the poor of the world
With just one objective: to fill up her purse

And then, and then, oh the irony!
They made her International Development Secretary!
But she had secret meetings with the Israelis and soon got busted
Even by the Tories she can’t be trusted

But she carried on working as MP in the day
(Voting for fracking & against same-sex marriage by the way)
Moonlighting for defence companies at £1000 an hour, as she would
With little thought for those who voted for her, or the public good

Sinking deeper and deeper in the mire
Apparently helps you rise higher & higher!
For now Ms Patel is Home Secretary
In charge of policing, immigration, and wrecking the territory

Send me your poor, your hungry, your huddled masses –
And I will grind the little bastards into molasses!
As for those Gypsies: hound ’em out!
By taking their caravans so they can no longer roam about!

So, with apologies to the Bard, let me conclude:

Priti is foul, and foul is Priti
She hovers through the fog and filthy City.